Your children can feel the tension, even if you have not said a word. Schools are sending home
notices. The news is on in the background. Friends are leaving. Here is how to protect your
children’s emotional world, and how your nanny can be your greatest ally in doing so.

What Your Children Already Know

Let us start with something many parents underestimate: your children know more than you
think they do.

They have overheard your conversations. They have noticed that you check your phone more
than usual. They have seen the neighbour’s house go quiet and dark after a family left quickly.

They have heard things at school, some true, some exaggerated, some terrifying, from other
children whose parents are also frightened. They may have asked their nanny questions that
she did not know how to answer.

Children are extraordinarily perceptive emotional readers. They cannot name what they are
picking up, but they absorb it entirely. And when the adults in their world seem anxious but
will not talk about why, children’s imaginations fill the silence, almost always with something
more frightening than the truth.

Understanding this is the starting point for everything that follows. Your children do not need
to be protected from reality. They need reality explained to them in a way that is honest,
age-appropriate, and, above all, delivered by a calm adult who makes them feel completely
safe.

“Children do not need to be protected from reality. They need reality explained in a way
that is honest, age-appropriate, and delivered by a calm adult who makes them feel
safe.”

How to Talk to Your Children About What Is Happening

This is the conversation most parents dread. Here is how to approach it with confidence.

The Golden Rule: Calm Is Contagious
Before you say a single word to your child, regulate yourself. Children do not just hear what
you say, they read your body language, your tone, your breathing. If you sit down to have this
conversation while you are internally panicking, they will feel the panic more than the words.
Take a breath. Ground yourself. You are the anchor. Act like one.

Start With What They Already Know
Rather than launching into an explanation, begin by asking what they have already heard.
‘Have you heard anyone talking about what’s happening in the news lately?’ or ‘Has anything
been mentioned at school that you wanted to ask us about?’ This tells you exactly what
territory you are actually covering, and avoids the common mistake of explaining things your
child had not yet thought about.

What to Say, By Age Group

    • Under 5s: Keep it concrete and immediate. ‘Some things are happening far away
      that mean we are being extra careful. You are safe. We are here.’ Do not use
      words like ‘war’ or ‘bombs.’ Focus entirely on the present safety of your home.

        Ages 5–8: Acknowledge that something serious is happening without detailing it.

 

      • ‘There is a conflict happening in some countries nearby. It is very sad. The people

 

      • in charge of keeping us safe are doing their jobs. We are making sure our family

 

      • is prepared.’ Answer their specific questions simply and honestly.

      • Ages 8–12: This age group needs more, they are googling things, hearing
        detailed accounts from peers, and forming their own understanding. Be honest
        about the situation, correct misinformation calmly, explain what the family is
        doing to stay safe, and emphasise that adults around the world are working
        hard to protect people.
      • Teenagers: Treat them as near-adults. They deserve honesty, they will see
        through anything less, and they often carry enormous unspoken anxiety that
        they need permission to voice. Have a real conversation. Share your thinking.
        Invite theirs. Acknowledge that it is frightening, because it is.
      • All ages: Always end with something true and grounding. ‘We are safe. We are
        together. And whatever happens, we have a plan.’ Then mean it, because having
        a plan (Article 1) is what allows you to say this honestly.

Signs Your Child Is Struggling, What to Watch For

Not all children will tell you they are scared. Many will show you instead. During periods of
conflict or regional instability, watch for these behavioural signals that your child may need
extra support:

Behavioural Signs to Watch For

      • Sleep disturbances, difficulty falling asleep, nightmares, wanting to sleep with parents
      • Regression in younger children, bedwetting, thumb-sucking, baby talk that had previously stopped
      • Increased clinginess or separation anxiety, particularly when leaving for school or when parents leave the house
      • Withdrawal from play, social interaction, or activities they usually enjoy
      • Increased aggression, irritability, or emotional outbursts without obvious cause
      • Physical complaints without medical cause, stomach aches, headaches, feeling unwell
      • Repetitive questions about safety, asking repeatedly whether they are safe, whether you will leave them
      • In older children: excessive news-checking, catastrophising, or difficulty concentrating

If you notice these signs, the response is not to dismiss or minimise. It is to create more
opportunities for honest, gentle conversation, more physical connection and reassurance, and
more deliberate routine and structure, which brings us to the most practical section of this
guide.

The Calm Day Framework: Structure as Safety

When schools close, as they may during periods of heightened regional tension, the loss of
routine hits children harder than most parents expect. School is not just education. It is a
social world, a physical environment, a predictable structure that tells a child’s nervous
system: today has a shape, and it is manageable.

When that disappears, you need to replace it deliberately. Children who are kept at home
without structure during a frightening period do not relax, they spiral. Their anxiety has
nothing to anchor to, and it fills the unstructured space.

The Calm Day framework is a flexible daily schedule designed specifically for home days
during a period of disruption. It does not require perfection. It requires intention.

Morning: Anchor (7am – 10am)

Consistent wake-up time. A proper breakfast, ideally together. A simple, quiet activity to start
the day, reading, drawing, a puzzle. The morning’s job is to communicate: today has a shape,
and we are in it together. Your nanny can lead this phase entirely, freeing you to manage your
own work or communications.

Mid-Morning: Engage (10am – 12pm)

Structured learning or creative activity led by your nanny. This is not school, it is purposeful
engagement. Building projects, science experiments, cooking together, art. Activities that
require focus and produce something real. For children who are anxious, having a tangible
output at the end of an activity is quietly reassuring.

Afternoon: Move and Play (1:30pm – 4pm)

Physical movement is non-negotiable for children during stressful periods. It is how their
bodies process cortisol and return to a regulated state. Indoor exercise, garden play, dance,
yoga, whatever is available. Follow it with genuine free play, unstructured and child-led. Your
nanny’s role here is to be present and available, not directive.

Late Afternoon: Reconnect (4pm – 6pm)

This is parent time where possible, even thirty minutes of fully present, device-free connection.
Read together. Cook together. Let them talk about their day and actually listen to the answers.
This is also a good time for a brief, calm family check-in: ‘How are we all feeling today?’
Normalising the conversation about feelings is one of the most powerful things you can do for
your children’s long-term emotional resilience.

Briefing Your Nanny: Her Role in Your Children’s Emotional Safety

Your nanny spends more waking hours with your children than you do. During a period of
regional conflict, that makes her one of the most important figures in your children’s
emotional landscape. But she can only fulfil that role effectively if she is properly briefed and
genuinely supported.

Talk to her specifically about how you want her to handle children’s questions about the
conflict. Agree on language she can use if a child asks her directly about what is happening.
Make sure she knows the Calm Day framework and can implement it with confidence. And
acknowledge, genuinely, the emotional labour she is carrying.

Filipino caregivers in particular may be managing their own anxieties about family members
in the Philippines or elsewhere, while simultaneously maintaining a calm exterior for your
children. That is an extraordinary amount to ask of another human being. See it. Name it.
Thank her for it.

How to Brief Your Nanny for This Specific Moment

      • Share your family’s agreed language for talking about the conflict with the children
      • Tell her what the children have already been told so she can be consistent
      • Ask her how she herself is feeling and genuinely listen to her answer
      • Give her clear permission to say ‘I don’t know, but you are safe and I am here’ if children ask difficult questions
      • Walk her through the Calm Day framework and any specific activities that help your children feel grounded
      • Ensure she has your emergency contact information and knows your household’s safety plan
      • Check that she has been able to speak with her own family and that she feels supported in doing so

The Resilience You Are Building Right Now

We want to close with something that is easy to lose sight of when you are in the middle of it:
the way you handle this period in front of your children is one of the most powerful parenting
experiences of their lives.

Children who live through uncertain times in households where adults are honest, calm, and
prepared, where there is warmth and structure even when the world outside is frightening, do
not come out of those experiences damaged. They come out of them with something that
cannot be taught in any other way: the deeply held knowledge that difficult things can be
navigated. That the adults who love them can hold the weight. That safety is something that
can be created, even when it is not guaranteed.

That is resilience. And you are building it right now, today, in the middle of everything, by
reading this, by planning, by caring.

Your children are watching. And what they are seeing is a parent who shows up.