Whether you’re new to nannying or have years of experience, certain behavioral questions come up time and time again. You’re not alone if you’ve ever wondered how to handle a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store or struggled with a child who simply won’t listen. These moments can be challenging, but with the right approach, they’re also opportunities to grow your skills, strengthen your bond with the child, and shine as a caregiver.

Let’s walk through some of the most common questions nannies ask when it comes to child behavior and share real-world, practical tips to help you feel calm, confident, and in control.

1. “How do I handletantrums in public?”

This is one of the most dreaded scenarios for any caregiver. You’re at Target. The toddler you’re watching is suddenly sprawled on the floor, red-faced and screaming because you said “no” to a toy. Heads turn. Your heart races. What now?

Tip: Stay calm and composed.
Easier said than done, right? But the truth is, kids feed off the energy of the adults around them. If you panic, get flustered, or start negotiating desperately, the tantrum can escalate. But if you stay grounded, speak in a soft voice, get on their level, and offer a simple, clear choice like “We can take three deep breaths or we can head to the car,” you send a powerful message of safety and control.

Take a deep breath. You’re doing your job. Tantrums aren’t failures. They’re a normal part of development. What matters most is how you respond. Your calm is their anchor.

2.“What should I do if a child refuses to listen?”

You’ve asked them to put on their shoes again. You’ve reminded them to clean up the blocks again. They either ignore you completely or throw out a defiant “No!” Sound familiar?

Tip: Use positive reinforcement.
Rather than focusing only on what not to do, try shifting your energy to highlight what is going well. Praise the behavior you want to see more of, and be specific. Instead of saying “Good job,” say “I really liked how you put your shoes on the first time I asked. That was super helpful.”

Positive reinforcement isn’t about being overly sugary or fake. It’s about encouraging the good and making it more likely to happen again. Kids thrive on attention, and when that attention is focused on their positive actions, they’re much more likely to repeat them.

Also, consider the root of the “not listening” behavior. Are they tired? Hungry? Overstimulated? Sometimes, misbehavior is just communication in disguise.

3.“How can I manage separation anxiety?”

You arrive for the day, and the child clings to their parent like a barnacle. Tears. Begging. Maybe even full-on sobbing. You feel helpless and maybe even guilty. It’s hard for everyone.

Tip: Build trust and a goodbye routine.
Separation anxiety is common, especially in toddlers and preschoolers. What they need most during this time is consistency and trust. If you and the parents can establish a simple, predictable goodbye routine like a special hug, a wave at the window, or even a “See you after your snack,” that pattern creates safety and comfort.

Try not to sneak away. That often makes it worse. Instead, focus on helping the child feel secure in your presence. Play a familiar game, sing a favorite song, or bring out a beloved toy as a transition.

And remember, the tears usually stop within minutes of the parent leaving. You’re not doing anything wrong. In fact, the fact that they’re sad says they’re attached, which is actually a good thing. Your job is to gently guide them toward building a secure attachment with you too.

4.“What if I’m not doing it ‘right’?”

Okay, this isn’t on the slide, but it’s one of the most unspoken, universal questions nannies ask themselves.

Here’s the truth: There’s no such thing as perfect.
Every child is different. Every family is different. Some days will be smooth, others will feel like a marathon of snack negotiations, spilled juice, and repeated episodes of Bluey. But if you’re showing up with love, patience, and a willingness to learn, you are doing great.

Give yourself grace. Reach out to other nannies or caregivers to share stories and tips. Learn from the tough moments. Celebrate the wins, even the small ones like getting out the door on time with everyone wearing two shoes.

5. You’ve Got This!

Being a nanny isn’t easy. You juggle playtime and discipline, learning and fun, safety and silliness, all while keeping tiny humans alive and thriving. It’s a job that requires heart, humor, patience, and a whole lot of creativity.

So the next time you find yourself navigating a tantrum in aisle 7 or wondering why that sweet 4-year-old is giving you the silent treatment, remember this:

You’re not alone. These challenges are part of the job and you’re growing through them.

You’ve got this. Truly.

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